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It was another good start to a Sunday morning as Crankeverend (CR) was preparing for worship.  Gathering up the bulletins, he saw a “post it” note glaring at him stuck to his copy of the bulletin. His heart sank quicker than Peter on a stormy sea — for he knew what was coming next. The note read: “Crankastor, please announce to the congregation that the sending hymn is actually 655, not what is printed.”  Now, CR knows he should not over react to mistakes in the bulletin, after all, CR has read books on the internet with more mistakes than what CR finds in the bulletin on Sunday morning.  But you wouldn’t know that in the church.  According to members of the church, the person putting together the bulletin better be channeling the Pope and his infallibility, or there is going to be trouble.  

Since when did the bulletin become a means to salvation?  After all, if the bulletin is to be “A Holy Vessel”, then we better build a tabernacle to keep the extra copies after the service or we will be shredding Jesus in the recycle bin.  If Crankeverend is to believe this trend, then along with Baptism, the Word, Holy Communion, the Power of the Keys, the Mutual Conversation and Consolation of our Brothers and Sisters in Christ, Martin Luther forgot to mention the Bulletin as the 6th Means of Grace.

What is the purpose of the bulletin?  It is a means to assisting the congregation in their worship experience.  The evolution of the bulletin has been from a one page document that assists a congregant in guiding them through the use of the hymnal; to a fourteen page document that prints every word of the service as a means of hospitality to the stranger so they do not have to try to maneuver through the hymnal.  So, whoever is responsible for printing the bulletin has moved from proofing one page for mistakes, to proofing many, many pages and multiple sources for mistakes.  But, more importantly, the bulletin is a means of communication, not a means of Grace.  While Jesus is perfect, and his word and ministry are also perfect, and merciful, and filled with Grace, we the people are not — not perfect, and not always filled with Grace.  

Crankeverend shook his head.  “Oh boy, I can just hear the sighs when I announce the mistake.”  Looking toward the heavens, Crankeverend shouted “My G-d! My G-d! Why have you forsaken me?”  Wiping the blood from his brow, Crankeverend checked for the stigmata, and seeing none, decided to go clean the bathroom.  That will teach me……

Crankeverend…..out!

The 50 something grandmother sat across from cranky reverend’s (CR) desk one day as people were still leaving the sanctuary.  “Why is Lent so depressing?” she asked with the seriousness of a funeral director.  She was still clutching the bulletin in her hands and looking as if she would gladly substitute CR’s neck if she had the chance.  “Why do people ask me these kinds of questions” his crankiness pondered as he tried his best to look serious.  “What is Lent supposed to be, an episode from “Good Times”?, he laughed silently to himself.

Gathering all of his cranky powers together CR slowly explained, “Lent is supposed to be a time of reflection, especially a time to reflect upon our sinfullness”.  She looked at me and frowned.  “But Crankeverend, you said before that Lent and Advent were supposed to mimic one another, and Advent is not depressing.  So, why is Lent so depressing?”  Well, I guess I am happy that someone in the congregation is listening to my sermons, and thinking about why we do the things that we do.  So often what we do in the church is just a repeat of what has been done in the past, and sooner or later our actions, even liturgical ones, become just another thing that we check off our liturgical list.  Advent – check!  Christmas Eve – check!  Epiphany – check!  I felt my crankiness rising as I began to formulate how I might be able to escape this “Pastor can I have just a moment of your time?” — a moment that will surely turn into a forty-five minute explanation.  Don’t you realize I have just completed two services and made a whole host of life changing decisions like “No we do not light the Christ candle this Sunday.”  and “Yes I realize that the hymn number is wrong for the sending hymn — and I will be sure to let the Office Administrator know how upset you are.”

“If you think about it” CR continued, “Advent is about preparing for the coming of the Christ child, and the return of Christ.  In both cases we are living in expectant times, and like a mother expecting a child, we have hope in the new life that is to come.  But in Lent, we are preparing for the death of Christ on good Friday.  Yes Easter is just on the heels of Good Friday, but we cannot be too quick to live into the resurrection before we realize how we kill Christ every day through our sinfulness.  I can’t see singing “Joy to the World” or “Alleluia, Christ is Risen” in Lent until we experience “Were You There When They Crucified Our Lord.”  Sitting back into my chair, I felt a bit of smug-resolution coming over me — nailed that one.

“Well Crankastor, I just hope you can find some way to make Lent a little more uplifting.”  With that she crumpled up her bulletin and tossed it into my trashcan on her way out of my office.

I looked at the “One-Eyed Minion” doll on my shelf and thought – “And a Happy Lent to Everyone” — “G-d Bless Us One and All”.

Crankeverend…..Out.