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Crankeverend (CR) has to do a little Mea Culpa before we move forward with the War on Drugs….CR has had to fight this war in his own family for too long. CR is tired and Cranky when the discussion of drugs pops up somewhere in the conversation either at church or on the internet.  But it is a discussion that needs to continue, because another member of CR’s family, CR’s church family, has died from the battle with addictions.  It is sad every time that someone loses this battle, but it is a battle that is not just personal, but communal.

A member of CR’s church died this past week from an overdose.  He was the kind of member who wouldn’t always attend, but was there when you needed him.  He didn’t want to chair a committee or run a ministry, but he would show up and work hard.  He came to bible study and it was obvious he struggled with his own sense of Grace, and his own sense of worthiness, yet he was the epitome of being a worker for Jesus.  How does CR reconcile this man’s struggle with life and faith?   And how does one reconcile losing his battle to understand both with the G-d who loves us all unconditionally?

Simple, G-d is a G-d of unconditional love, mercy and grace — and G-d has determined to allow this world to have certain freedoms — because as Harold Kushner came to realize in his book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”, our G-d is all loving when it comes to this world, but not all powerful, when it comes to this world.  In other words, if G-d was all powerful, there would be no disease, death, disfigurement, and disasters.  But there is death, disease, disfigurement and disaster — so what does that all mean?  It means that G-d allows for dualities — death and life, ease and disease, calm and disasters, good and bad.  So when we find that we are on the wrong side, the question we should NOT ask is “Why?” — the question we need to ask is “How?”  “How will we come through these experiences with some new understanding, if any?”; and “How is it that G-d still does act in powerful ways in this world, but not always?”

Let’s start with the “Why?”   If CR asks you for a good answer to “Why did CR’s member overdose at such a young age?”, do you have any answer that does not involve “sinful living” and “needing more church?” Do you have ANY answer that does not involve “G-d needing new angels”?    CR’s friend was in church on a regular basis, hearing the Gospel and taking the sacrament of Holy Communion.  CR wants, no DEMANDS a good answer to “WHY?”  CR’s cranky factor goes off the scale sometimes when CR hears answers that remind him of Helen Sterner Rice poems. Fact is, there are no good answers, and you and CR both know it.  So, then, how will we come through these experiences with renewed understanding, if not renewed faith?  And, what of this war on drugs?

Truthfully, how will CR and those of his church come through this experience with some new understanding?  That is yet to be determined.  What CR does know is this, instead of blaming society, or the person, or their “situation” or their friends, or their choices, we need to cling to the feet of Jesus on the cross and realize that a world that would kill Jesus, on a cross, is a world that is profoundly broken — and we live in this world.  And it is in this world that CR’s friends have suffered, have died in tragic ways, have struggled, and yet also have a G-d that does not abandon them.  And neither should we abandon our friends and family members who are struggling — with addictions and other struggles. We need to stay at their side and remind them that we have a G-d who remains at our side and loves us without condition.  And then, we need to walk with them into the future — a future that begins with love, not condemnation — hope, not blame — grace, not judgment — living for something, not against something — living in life affirming, not life denying ways.  This is how G-d acts in powerful ways in this world — the power of the community empowered with the Holy Spirit is a community of believers where miracles do happen.  Don’t believe CR…….then find a community of believers and join the journey into the future.

And finally, on this war on drugs……this seems like a losing battle.  A society that cannot care for each other is a society that forces people on the fringes to seek mind altering methods to cope.  Until we can learn to love one another, and find ways to live that out, removing our “egos” and actually focusing on others — until we can learn to slow down and actually talk to one another, not demanding our own ways but struggling to find common ground — we will never win another battle, whether that is a war on drugs or a war between liberals and conservatives.  As long as the log in our own eyes blocks and blinds our vision of others, we lose……..and G-d weeps.

CR can’t give you answers — but CR can point you to G-d — who gave us Jesus!

Crankeverend……….weeping!

 

I have already touched on the Genesis of my crankiness so I hope to take a few moments to explain the Cranky life. People may say “Crankeverend, why so Cranky?” Crankiness is a commitment – a lifestyle. You don’t just decide one day to be Cranky. To be truly cranky, you have to embrace the Cranky life.  We all have an “inner crank” just wanting to surface — wanting to come out.  Sometimes it surfaces in the car — when someone comes speeding up and cuts you off at the last minute to take an exit.  Other times it surfaces in other ways…..here’s a good example.

The 4:00 am Phone Call.

Nothing gets the Cranky Reverend more cranky than the 4:00 am phone call — well all but one variety — the emergency call from the congregation or the family, that is a phone call CR does not complain about because it is CR’s calling to serve both family and congregation.  All others make CR cranky.

First — there’s the wrong number:

Ring….Ring….   CR: “YES…WHO IS THIS?. (not knowing how to answer because it is 4:00 in the morning)

Voice on phone: “Uh….is Marcia there?”

CR – “DO I SOUND LIKE A MARCIA?”  Click…..

Second — there is the drunken butt dial:

Ring Ring…    CR – “Hawwo” (Elmer Fudd voice because it is 4:00 am)

Sounds on phone:  “Muffel…shuffel….giggle….”  

CR: “Click” “Bang” (sound of phone bouncing off the wall after being thrown across the room)

Third — there is the call from Indonesia:

Ring Ring….  CR: “PASTOR” (the cranky voice because it is 4:00 in the morning)   —

Strange voice: “Speaking loudly and rapidly in a strange tongue”.

CR: (Listens and waits to see if the Holy Spirit moves him to interpret the “strange tongue”.) “Bang” (Phone being slammed on the night stand because CR does not interpret “strange tongues” he only speaks them in the middle of the night.)

Fourth — there is the call from your child:

Ring Ring…  CR: “Yes _____ (name withheld to protect the………..dimwit)

Son: “Dad, I just got pulled over for ______ (incident withheld because CR is ANGRY)

CR:  Tick…Tick….Tick…Tick….the countdown to CR’s head exploding.

Another source of crankiness is the encounter CR has at his local Starbucks.  Now, CR is not talking about his baristas, they are the best.  CR is talking about the people who stand in line and don’t know the protocol.  It is very simple, really.  Know what you want to order, order it quickly, and if it takes you longer to name your drink than it takes for the rest of the transaction, then do a mobile order — people are waiting for you to finish — get out of the way.  Also, realize you always have to give them your name and if it is not Sue or Bill or Deb, spell it.  Once you order and pay, move out of the way which means move somewhere else to put your wallet and keys and other effects in your purse or “murse” — don’t waste CR’s time at the register.  And, most importantly, no one wants to know how bad your day is or how badly you need the caffeine — we all need it — get out of the way.

These are just a few of the things that  build up in Crankeverend’s life that adds to his “crankiness”.  It is a burden CR must bear, but the love of Christ always fills his heart and his life that allows CR to compartmentalize his crankiness away from the parish and the others in his life — because CR is full of love (at least that is CR’s story).

Crankeverend…Out!