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“Look, there is a difference between the joyless and the unhappy”, Crankeverend (CR) said to his friend.  “The unhappy are people who perhaps have a chemical imbalance that may be at the heart of their unhappiness.  Or they may be in a bad relationship, or abusive marriage, or are taking care of their elderly parents and it is overwhelming them.  These people have a very legitimate reason for being unhappy.”  CR sat there for a while collecting his thoughts, as if there was a well of crankiness he was trying to reach.  “And then, there are the joyless — the ones who can suck the joy, hope and blessing out of anything and anyone.  Those people make me cranky.”

CR’s friend sat there, stroking his invisible beard, like he does sometimes, probably pining for the day he might be a Bishop.  “Do you really think people can just be “joyless” — devoid of joy — without joy — never seeing joy cross their paths?”

CR frowned at his brilliant friend, sometimes wondering why his brain leaks once in a while.  “I am telling you, some people will only experience 8 of the 9 fruits of the Spirit — they will experience love, peace, kindness, gentleness, patience, generosity, self-control, and faithfulness — but they will never feel joy.  I don’t know why — it is as if they are biologically conditioned to repel joy.  And, for some reason, many of them become leaders in their churches — which seems to cement their joylessness.”  CR was standing on his desk screaming at his friend, which seemed really ridiculous at the moment…and then he sat down, breathing as if he just ran a marathon.

CR’s friend sat there shaking his head, like he had a spider suddenly crawl into his ear.  He was definitely worried, but couldn’t decide if he was worried for his friend, or worried about members in a church who have lost their joy.  “What do you think is at the heart of their joylessness?  You mentioned, my redundant friend, the reasons that people might be unhappy.  Tell me, please, what do you think is at the heart of their joylessness?  I am not saying that I do not know, I just want your opinion, my repetitive colleague.”    

CR sat motionless — trying to understand joylessness.  “Well, my friend, I think some people have never really experienced true joy – at least since they were a small child.  This world is hard — and many people grow up either being picked on for the way they look, or bullied for being different, or demeaned by adults and authority figures because they are from a different culture, class or race.  Their lives are filled with the opposite of joy — sorrow, hurt, pain, and sadness.  And these experiences, well they can’t help but bring into the church — where they can allow their joylessness to express itself — because this is what they know best — and we all know, we have to accept everyone and every feeling in the church because Jesus loves everyone.”

CR’s friend was sobbing by this time, but then realized he had shut his fingers in the doors of his own perceptions — and when he gathered his composure, he began to speak again: “So, if people are driven by pain, sadness, hurt and sorrow, how do we help and encourage them to find joy?”

CR was staring at the six fingers on his left hand, wondering why G-d would give him six fingers until he realized he was holding pen with the saying “What Would Jesus Do?” emblazoned on it  — and then he replied “Welllllllllllll………What Would Jesus Do?  Profound, right?  Actually we need to help people find joy — starting with joy in the church.  We cannot be a joyless people who come to a Sunday Worship Service and leave devoid of joy.  Too many people come to church and bring with them all kinds of hurt, pain, sadness, and sorrow and stay within their shells of pain.  Jesus would tell them that they are loved beyond measure, and welcome without restrictions, and forgiven without limits — and so we need to love all people without limits, welcome everyone as if they are our own family, and be non-judgmental in all of our interactions. We need to share the joy of Jesus — which means we have to find our own well of joy.  And when we realize that we are loved without conditions and forgiven of our past, present and future sins — well that at least is a beginning to a life filled with joy — because it will mean a life filled with Jesus.”

CR’s friend spontaneously broke into singing “Joy to the World” — when CR threw a pocket full of joy at him.  OK it was a pocket full of lint but hey, it brought CR joy.

Crankeverend……Out!

Crankeverend (CR) gets up most mornings, his bones creaking on the way to the shower, only to be reminded of a growing (or should he say “losing”) truth and reminder — CR lives with people who have a lot of hair.  It is a painful, sick joke that the fates are playing on CR every day.  Look CR doesn’t mind that people have enough hair that the excess just jumps off like rats from the Titanic, but come on……

Course, no matter where CR goes he is reminded of the loss — the drains and sinks are clogged with hair, floors have dust bunnies filled with hair, even the cats are hacking up hairballs.  And then CR looks in the mirror, and pines for the days when he actually had to pay for a haircut — you know, back in the 1980’s.

So, what is so important about hair?

Nancy Reagan died this weekend, and it got CR thinking about the President Reagan years, and looking at all of the pictures of Nancy and President Reagan throughout the last 30 years, and how neither really lost any hair, and how important hair is to our looks, and to our style.  Even having no hair like actor Telly Savalis or more recently television personalities Matt Lauer and Al Roker makes a statement about hair — some people don’t need hair to “look good”.

Course, the styles of hair have changed dramatically over the years — from the molded hair of the 50’s and 60’s, to the long hair and Afros of the 70’s, to the big hair of the 80’s, to the sleek, short hair of the late 90’s and into the new millennia, to the color revolution of the 21st century.  CR was sitting in the ER in Gettysburg the other night, when a middle-aged woman came in with her children sporting three different colors in her hair — pink, white and purple.  And now, CR has reached the point in his life where he has no hair in the places he wants hair, and he has too much hair where there is no hair needed.  No matter what CR wishes about hair, it all goes wrong.

So, again, what is so important about hair?

CR likes to read and to write about the lessons appointed for Sunday as CR prepares to write a sermon.  This week we hear the story (John 12:1-8) of the devotion that Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus shows to Jesus by pouring expensive perfume on his feet and then wipes off with her hair.  Judas Iscariot complains about the waste of the perfume — something that was extremely costly, and the fact that it could have been sold and put into the coffers of the disciples, though we are reminded that Judas was skimming money from the till.  Judas cared nothing of Mary’s act of devotion, and maybe even cared nothing about the fact that Mary had to “let down her hair” to perform this act.  In first century Palestine, hair had sensuous qualities and so was always worn “up” — tied “up” — only let “down” in the intimacy of the home, with her husband.  Today, women wear their hair tied “up” or “back” when working in certain jobs because long hair can easily get in the way.

So, we can see the scandal of Mary “letting her hair down” — Jesus was only a close friend, not her spouse, and there were so many people there, witnessing this scandalous performance.  And besides, why would she wipe off the perfume so quickly if, as Jesus says, she is “anointing” him?

But, as CR sees it, this story is not about the hair.  This is not about the cost of the perfume.  The story of the dinner thrown in honor of Lazarus (How weird was it to attend a funeral dinner for someone who was no longer dead?) the story is about the intimacy and the depth of the love that Mary, Martha and Lazarus all have for Jesus.

Look, CR knows that there are many conversations that people have each week in Lutheran and Methodist and other congregations around the world. And many of these conversations are about what is “appropriate” in response to worshipping Jesus — appropriate in worship, appropriate in ministry, appropriate in giving.  Some Lutherans do not think “modern” music is appropriate in worship — others think “modern” music is the key to reaching out and connecting to young people today.  Some Lutherans do not think video screens and power point sermons are appropriate in worship — others believe it is essential.

So, let CR ask…again, like CR did at the beginning of this writing…what is so important about hair?  Well, it really isn’t about the hair, is it?  Just like it isn’t about the clothes, or the music, or the standing and sitting.  What Mary does is a spontaneous, outpouring of love and “worship” with Jesus that it doesn’t matter what others think — and it shouldn’t matter what we think about Mary today.  What matters is what we think about Jesus — and then how we hope to respond to Jesus, today.  Hair up, hair down, a lot of hair, no hair, wacky hair, rainbow hair, who here cares about hair?    CR knows that CR doesn’t care about hair.  But CR does care about Jesus, and how CR will respond to Jesus, today — and how we all might find a way to offer some kind of response to Jesus, today.

Look, CR has a son whose hair, right now, is as long as CR has ever seen.  CR’s son says he has seen the future (again refer to CR’s comments about his hair) and so he wants to grow it as long as possible, while he still can.  However, there is something else he plans to do. He is donating his long, auburn hair to “Locks for Love”.  In his own agnostic way, he is responding to the needs of others — and it isn’t because someone made him do it, and it is in spite of the comments that he gets about looking like a hippie — it is about his plans to do a good thing.   If Mary would have worried about what others thought, or would have worried that she would be compared to a “prostitute”, we never would have had this marvelous, wonderful outpouring of devotion recorded for us that happened over 2000 years ago.

And that makes Crankeverend really cranky. Too many people worry about what is “appropriate” in church (e.g clapping, laughing, crying children, video screens, liturgical dance, fake flowers, looking each other in the eye, saying hello to a stranger, sitting in the front pews), and they worry about what is appropriate in their lives (e.g. sleeping in on a Sunday, omitting things from their taxes, buying a fancy car, getting a tattoo), and so they worry themselves out of allowing spontaneity to be a part of their worship lives, and their lives in general….and that makes CR sad as well as cranky. If your response to the love, mercy and Grace of Jesus moves you to spontaneously praising G-d, whether that involves singing, dancing, crying, or raising your arms – don’t worry about what others think….just do it. And if we find that images, videos, or other contemporary worship forms enhance worship, then we should be open to trying it.  All along the way of our worship experience, there have been changes — some very subtle, and others rather jarring.  And today many want to keep what they do in worship the same — and will go to their deathbeds trying to stop the possibility of any and all changes or modifications.  Just like hair styles have changed, so has our responses to G-d’s love, mercy and Grace.  CR’s advice — you better get used to change — or there will be plenty of reasons to call us the “frozen chosen”.

So, “Hair…uh…what is is good for?”  Well, I guess this Cranky Reverend has to admit, hair has everything to do with this story — and Mary’s response to Jesus — but Hair wants nothing to do with CR’s head.

Crankeverend……Bald!