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Suspects take selfies in epic high-speed chase
http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2016/04/08/la-high-speed-chase-orig.cnn

Crankeverend (CR) spends a lot of time worrying about the country and the world in which CR lives.  CR realizes this is a scary world in which we live.  But every day there is something that happens to remind CR how big is the hand basket to H _ _ _ in which we are plummeting to our demise.  Take the story above.

Last evening, the last episode of “American Idol” aired.  It is CR’s opinion that there has never been a show like American Idol which has produced some of the most extreme examples of Narcissists and people “Out of Touch” with reality.  Who can forget these contestants compiled on this Top Ten Worst clip.  “Thank the Lord” thinks CR, that after 15 seasons of allowing people to make fools of themselves on national television, we have come to our senses and said “enough is enough”.  Oh wait, we haven’t — something else will take its place.

Oh, and if we want to talk about the worst people of the week, we could turn to this narcissistic couple.  Here is a partial headline from the Huffington Post today: “Miami Model (and boyfriend), Charged In Alleged Multimillion-Dollar Fraud Ring”.  This outstanding example of American care and compassion are accused of being a part of a theft ring targeting over 40 people, mostly senior citizens, opening fake accounts in their names without their knowledge, wracking up massive outstanding debts in their names.  The couple set up credit cards with stolen personal information to pay for trips to California and Hawaii, and shopping sprees at luxury retailers Hermès, Burberry, Louis Vuitton, and Apple.  This is why we need inane television shows like American Idol, to distract us from awful people.

Here is another sign that the apocalypse is at hand: “Postage prices set to go down, and the USPS isn’t happy”.  This headline comes from Money.CNN.com.  Believe it or not, the cost of a stamp is going down, from 49 cents to 47 cents.  CR thought he would never see gasoline prices under $3.00 in his life….now CR has to accept the reality that the Post Office is reducing the cost of a stamp.  The end is near…..

Finally, there is a quiz you can take on line that predicts your personality based upon your music preferences.  Here is the link Your Personality Based On Your Music Preference.  

CR took the quiz, and here are his results:

You enjoy music that is upbeat, optimistic, and peppy – all words we would use to describe you! A social individual by nature, your music tends to directly reflect either your state of mind or current company – as music, for you, is put to use for both personal and social advantage. You know what’s popular, what type of music will resonate with a specific group of people, and don’t buy into hateful or aggressive tracks. Straightforward music is always a plus, as you are not a fan of over-complicated tunes that are “trying too hard”. This is also reflected in your personality, as you are very familiar with what you like, what you want – and who your true friends are. You have established a firm connection with your “self”, and truly enjoy the music that reflects your viewpoints and passions.

Wow, that explains Crankeverend to a tee, don’t you agree?  I SAID DON’T YOU AGREE????  Actually, this whole exercise seems narcissistic, right?  Ironic…….

Crankeverend…….Out!

So, Crankeverend (CR) was talking with one of his colleagues, and we were swapping stories about the people who stop at our churches to ask for assistance.  Look, as pastors, we are committed to trying to help people who honestly need the help.  If someone needs a tank of gas, we will meet them at the gas station.  If they need some food, we will take them to the grocery store, or buy them a sandwich.  But, as is often the case, people do not want “things”, they want cash.  And why do they want cash?  You fill in the reason…..

As CR and Crankastor (CP) talked, what we found most interesting was this, that although we pastor in two different cities, the excuses and the stories are almost identical.  For example, here are some of our experiences…

“Pastor, I need your help.  I am trying to go home to (insert state name here) and if you can help me get some gas, I will be on my way.”  The problem is, if CR or CP offers to meet them at the gas station, they never show up.  They would prefer cash.  Why do they want cash?  Most likely to fund a drug habit.

“Pastor, I have two kids, and my oldest daughter has moved in with her little baby.  I need some formula and diapers for the baby.  Can you help?”  The problem is, if CP or CR offers to take them to the store, they tell us they have to come back later, and then they never do. But if we offer them cash, or a check, their eyes light up.  One local policeman told CR, after CR had to call the police (because one woman not only stopped at CR’s church for money, but was stopping people in parking lots of grocery stores and asking for cash and the police wanted to do a wellness check on her children) — the policeman told CR this woman was looking for money for a heroin habit.  And if you give them a gift card, they will only sell them for the cash.

“Pastor, I am angry at G-d.  I feel like ending it all if I do not get out of this city.  I need to buy a bus ticket.  I have 20 dollars and the bus ticket is 25 dollars, and I want some extra money to buy some food.  Can you give me 15 dollars?”  Crankastor tells the man he will buy him the bus ticket.  That way he can use his own money for food.  The man excuses himself to use the bathroom, and then leaves — because he just wanted the money.  This is after the CP spent time counseling him about his anger toward G-d.

Can you see why Crankeverend and Crankastor, and other pastors get discouraged and down-right angry with people who are trying to take advantage of the Grace of the church?  

CR gets really cranky with the people who stop month, after month, after month, after month, even when they are informed that CR will only help someone every six months.  They call and harass church staff and will even stop during church services and when members are leaving the church after services, will ask them for money.  And the good people of CR’s congregation will help them out — because they have no idea that they have stopped month after month, after month.  Since when has the church become a social service agency?  And when we refuse to help, they accuse the church of not caring about the homeless, or the abused, or those who are in need.  

The problem with CR, and this comes from a local police officer, is CR is a sucker for a sob story.  And the stories often are so similar, and there’s always a story.  “Pastor I have gone to New Hope Ministry (or insert any organization who helps people with food and other assistance) and they can’t help me (most likely because New Hope asked them to be responsible in some manner or form and they don’t wish to try to change their situation, they just want money for alcohol or drugs); or I just need money for diapers, or formula, or the rest of my rent, or a pipe burst, or my daughter moved back home and has a baby, or I just need gas to get back to Kentucky, or I need help to buy a muffler for my truck.”

Rarely do they ask for a prayer, do they ask for guidance, do they ask for some counseling — and they know just when to stop: just as the church service is ending, just when bible study is over, just before you are leaving for the day, just when the office is closing, just when you have gotten out of your car in the morning and haven’t had the chance to take off your coat, or they chase after your car when you are pulling out of the parking lot and they begin to bang on your window.

Many pastors say that the thing they dislike the most about being a pastor is weddings — dealing with “Bride-zillas”, dealing with rogue camera people, or dealing with pushy wedding coordinators.  CR loves weddings.  CR loves to meet the couples, argue with camera people, and disappoint wedding coordinators.  CR gets really Cranky with the open-handed frequent flyer who doesn’t want spiritual guidance, doesn’t care about a relationship with G-d, and will never darken the doors of the church when the service is just beginning – all they want is money. 

Crankeverend…..and his friend Crankastor — yes CR has one friend…….Out!