Author: Rev. David J. Schreffler

Cranky Reverend (CR) is trying to find some sanity in this world of accusations, fake news, hate thy neighbor television and cancerous conversations….whatever happened to civility and my mother’s advice “If you have nothing nice to say, then stuff a doughnut in your mouth.”

CR needed some time to review the meaning of life and death these past few days — you see, life has been very distracting. The day to day mundane living in 21st century America can become quite distracting — wait, hold on, CR has to check the cell phone, tablet and Apple Watch before CR moves on. Sorry, false alarm — CR doesn’t even have an Apple Watch — besides, there hasn’t been a new episode of “Expedition Unknown” with Josh Gates lately, so CR has had nothing to watch on television. And if Josh Gates isn’t failing to find something, somewhere where it is rumored that something or someone was buried, or thrown into a lake, or hidden in a cave, then CR has no reason to live. Maybe that is a question CR should try to answer: “Hey Cranky Reverend, why doesn’t Josh Gates ever find buried treasure?” The answer: “Because he is looking in the wrong place, duh.”

Anyway, let’s get to a question we might be able to answer: “Hey Cranky Reverend, Pantheists believe that G-d is in everything — so where did you see G-d today?”

Well, as a Cranky Reverend, or should I say as a Cranky Lutheran Reverend, we believe that G-d created all things, but G-d is distinct from all things. G-d is known in the Trinity, as G-d has revealed G-d’s self to the world — Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Yet all things are created by G-d — so everything comes from G-d as a gift. Now yes, some days it is more difficult for CR to open the eyes of CR’s mind and heart to see G-d in the midst of CR’s day. You see, G-d is all around — but so are the mean people, the rude, the distracted and angry people — in other words we allow others, including our thoughts and experiences to get in between us and G-d. Life is distracting. Just look at the story of Mary and Martha. Wait, is that Josh Gates…..

“But CR, if Josh Gates is looking in the wrong places, then why do they make a show about Josh Gates not finding anything?”

Because it is great television, CR guesses. After all, people will want to watch to see if this might be the episode he might find buried treasure…which is not likely because he is always looking in the wrong places. But even a blind skunk gets lucky and sprays a person once in a while.

But back to seeing G-d — and the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus rebukes (gently) the sister Martha for being distracted — while Jesus praises Mary for sitting and listening. The word translated from the Greek as distracted, “Periespato” literally means to be pulled or dragged in different directions. This is what life does to us — forces many distractions upon us — pulling us this way and that. CR believes for every G-d moment we have, there are 9 or 99 or 999 distractions that pull us away from those G-d moments. And as ADD as CR is, it doesn’t take that much to distract CR. So we must be more intentional if we are to see how G-d intervenes in our lives on a daily basis. In other words, we must be more intentional to focus on….

“But CR, couldn’t the producers of Josh Gates’ seven shows actually bury something without telling him and then point him in the right direction so he might actually find something that would make us all feel just a little better about the fact he never finds anything, huh?”

Look, CR thinks G-d needs to intervene in Josh’s life so Josh would be grateful and thankful that even though he doesn’t ever find anything — he still gets that large paycheck.

Anyway, what does it mean to be more intentional about seeing G-d intervening in our lives? Well this is what CR thinks:

1. Be more mindful — not to sound too Buddhist but mindfulness is important in all aspects of our lives. When we can stop, drop and roll around in the idea of all of the ways G-d has gifted us with things, including G-d’s presence, then we might actually find we have uncovered some real buried treasure — even if it is only five minutes of intimacy with G-d.

2. Be purposeful — look, even Jesus spent time in prayer, listening to His Father — which requires intentionality. Carve out the time, like five minutes, every day — not just once in a while when life is really sticking it to you — but every day.

3. Be focused — distractions are everywhere. Silence the room, silence your thoughts, silence your brain, and silence the dog. And for Jesus’ sake, turn off the cell phone. And be in the moment — if you are praying, don’t keep checking your messages — and if you are at dinner with your spouse, or children, put the d*** phone down and talk to one another. And stop checking your “FaceCrook” page while driving….urg. And finally,

4. B – 7…………….Bingo.

Anyway, that is what CR thinks about “seeing” the presence of G-d in our lives — now leave CR alone, Cranky Reverend needs to pray for Josh Gates — now where did CR put the remote?

Cranky Reverend (CR) is trying to find some sanity in this world of accusations, fake news, hate thy neighbor television and cancerous conversations….whatever happened to civility and my mother’s advice “If you have nothing nice to say, then stuff a doughnut in your mouth.”

Crankeverend has been reading about meditation — CR doesn’t always like being cranky. After all, how Cranky can a Cranky Reverend get cranked when a Crankeverend is really cranked up? The answer is “Really Cranky”. The irony, as CR sees it, is that pastors, the cranky and non-cranky alike, are supposed to be models of Grace — offering Grace and practicing Grace. But, does the Grace bucket have a limit?  Sooo, that, of course, is the question Cranky Reverend is considering today: “Hey Cranky Reverend, What is Grace and where do I find it?”

Well, Let CR tell you a story….all the names and places and seasons of the church have been changed to protect the guilty, errrr I mean the innocent. But first, let’s start with a parable:

Then Jesus told this parable: “A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it and found none. So he said to the worker who tended the vineyard, ʻFor three years now, I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree, and each time I inspect it I find none. Cut it down! Why should it continue to deplete the soil?ʼ But the worker answered him, ʻSir, leave it alone this year too, until I dig around it and put fertilizer on it. Then if it bears fruit next year, very well, but if not, you can cut it down.ʼ” Luke 13:6-9

That, my friends, is what CR calls grace — unmerited grace — an endless stream of second chances, unexpected forgiveness, and overwhelming love offered when we have done nothing to deserve it.

So, back to the story. Once upon a time, in a town far, far away, there was a group of pastors, some might call them a “Gaggle of pastors” — others might call them competitors — but not CR. This small group of pastors were trying to organize some services that would be held around a meal. These pastors have been colleagues for many, many months. Now, pastors usually are busy as pastors usually are — so busy that getting together to talk about these services just wasn’t a possibility.  So they embarked on planning meals and services via the internet. Dates for the meals were not a problem, for the dates were determined by the calendar and the season. The only question was where to hold each service and what to serve for the meal — in other words, can we divide up the meals with equity and balance?

Dates were laid out and churches plugged in. All was scheduled — and then all “whiny h***” broke out. One pastor opined:

“We don’t have people to help serve and cook on the date that was assigned to us” (you may add a whiny voice if you wish). “Crankeverend’s church is assigned the dates we want”.

Now, that loud sucking sound you hear via the internet was complete silence — that is what pastors do to one another, right? No one spoke — actually typed a response to the whining….errrr……opining. The silence lasted for days — weeks.  Then came another whine, errr….response from “Whiny pastor”: “We’ve been blocked out of the process, and even though I didn’t feel it necessary to speak to anyone, or write anyone, or reach out to anyone, you (darn Lutheran pastor) should have known that my feelings were hurt because you didn’t include me and my church.” (ditto on the whiny voice)

That, my friends, is not Grace. Grace is not demanding your own way all the time — Grace is not being self-centered or selfish — Grace is not impatient, rude, arrogant or dismissive of others. Grace is not throwing manure at others, it is digging around your own self and looking for areas where you need to grow — because G-d loves us for who we are, children of G-d — not for what we have or haven’t done.

How should Cranky Reverend respond? CR’s training is to reply with Grace — it is in CR’s blood after all — though it often gets clogged up in the synapses of this Cranky Reverend’s brain. Sometimes CR’s Grace arteries clog — and then burst — with Grace-less responses.

You see, even pastors, like Cranky Reverend struggle with Grace — giving Grace and accepting Grace. But that is why the great gardener says he will come next year — and the following year — and the year after that — and so on and so on……so we have more and more chances to give, find, accept and be grateful for how Grace-filled our G-d of Grace really is — and then share that Grace with each other.

And so Crankeverend opened up the scheduling and everyone had the opportunity to select the dates that fit their schedules best — and all lived happily ever after. The moral of the story? Jesus Christ is the full definition of Grace — his love, his life, his death and the forgiveness offered through his resurrection is what we need to live through the Crankiness and the Whininess of this world………we on the other hand, well, Grace is not a selective science, it is a way of life.