Cooler and Warmer — What????

HEY! CRANKY REVEREND HERE: I posted a A few years ago that the state of Rhode Island developed a new slogan in their campaign for tourism.  The new slogan: “Rhode Island: Cooler and Warmer”.  What????  What does that mean? Are the people cooler and the weather warmer — or the people warmer and the weather cooler? Of course, in the cynical country we currently live in, this spawned a number of spoofs, including: “Rhode Island: 3% Bigger at Low Tide”; and “Rhode Island, making fun of ourselves since 1636” among many others.

So, this got CR thinking about Pennsylvania. One of our past slogans that actually appeared on our license plates went like this: “You’ve Got a Friend in PA” — that got someone thrown into “Grammar Hell”. Some of our current tourism logos include: “Pennsylvania, Pursue Your Happiness” and “Pennsylvania, VisitPA.Com”. So, someone sent me a suggestion: “Hey Cranky Reverend, could you come up with a new slogan for the Pennsylvania Tourism Bureau?”

Well, CR did a few years ago, so CR updated the list, because CR thinks we can do better — so yes, CR will oblige with some suggestions:

Pennsylvania: We’ve got Road Construction!

Pennsylvania: Detours, Detox, and Deathtraps!

Pennsylvania: Puxatawney…no…Punksatouny…no….Punxsutawney….Oh H***!

Pennsylvania: Even the Amish complain about the roads!

Pennsylvania: Hell hath no furry like PA drivers!

Pennsylvania: The “pipeline” for your gas!

Pennsylvania: We have the Civil War, but no civility!

Pennsylvania: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

Pennsylvania: You can “gamble”……that we care!

Pennsylvania: If you were looking for H*** you’d be home now!

Pennsylvania: Potholes, Potlatches, and Potbellies!

Pennsylvania: Fewer murders than Illinois!

Pennsylvania: The beach starts here (in 10 years)!

Pennsylvania: Home of limestone and Lyme Disease!

Pennsylvania: Even West Virginia won’t “Take Us Home”!

Pennsylvania: Mason and Dixon drew the line — stop crossing it!

Pennsylvania: We’re below New York!

Pennsylvania: Welcome! Now don’t talk to us!

Pennsylvania: If you can read this, you’re too close!

Pennsylvania: Yes, we took your wallet — Yes, we’re keeping it!

Pennsylvania: More Lutherans than shenanigans!

And finally,

Pennsylvania: Yes, it actually means Penn’s Television!

CR is looking for more suggestions — to submit them to the office of tourism; Anonymously, of course……