HEY CRANKY REVEREND…..

Cranky Reverend (CR) is trying to find some sanity in this world of accusations, fake news, hate thy neighbor television and cancerous conversations….whatever happened to civility and my mother’s advice “If you have nothing nice to say, then stuff a doughnut in your mouth.”

So, we are once again moonstruck as a nation as we celebrate the 50th anniversary of the landing of Apollo 11, with astronauts Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins. People all over the country are doing such amazing things to celebrate: stuff their faces with MoonPies and guzzling Tang — what, there were no “Moonies” around to proselytize, or “Moonstones” to give away, or even “Moonshine” to run around with? 

CR has heard the argument that Neil Armstrong was “misquoted” as he became the first human to step upon the moon — He said something like “That’s one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for a frog” — or something like that. So, CR has been receiving questions to address on this Cranky blog, and one of the questions was: “Hey Cranky Reverend, what else did the astronauts say before and after Neil Armstrong descended the ladder to step upon the moon’s surface?”

Well, CR has “discovered” a few quotes, true or not….so here we go:

“That’s one small step for a man, one….ouch, Da**it I twisted my ankle”.

“Hey Buzz, hold my beer…..watch this…..”

“Hey Mission Control, who was the idiot that waxed the ladder?”

“Buzz, are you holding the flag or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey Neil, look at Collin’s face. I farted right before I closed the hatch,”

“Neil: “Hey Buzz, you go first.” Buzz: “Nah, that’s OK, Neil you go first” Neil: “No, really, I don’t mind Buzz, you can go first.” Buzz: “Oh, he** that is so nice, but you see, I have this cramp in my leg, I am trying to stretch it out. Go ahead, Neil, you go first.”

“Hey Buzz, the Russians let their d*** dog do his business on our moon, and I jumped right in it.”

“Hey, is that Michael Jackson doing some sort of dance up here…?”

So far that is all CR can find on the “Unofficial” NASA records….but CR is certain there is more to be found. And look, if this offends you, then you need to discover some blog that can’t find humor in all aspects of life. This Cranky Reverend believes that G-d created all things, including our ability to see funny things in places not usually found — without being irreverent — yet still being sarcastic.

After all, when Jesus is telling the parable of the “Good Samaritan”, and he gets to the part where he says the third guy who came along to help was a “Samaritan” — do you not think many of his listeners didn’t just break out into gafals — gut laughs — thinking Jesus was just joking, or out of his mind? CR does…..in fact CR thinks Jesus knew the power of sarcasms. If you haven’t figured this out, CR is sarcastic — and it turns some people off. And that is ok. CR believes sarcasm to be a way to making a point, while finding the funnier aspects in a difficult if not sometimes dismal life. As blogger Jayson Bradley points out: “…the word Sarcasm comes from the Greek word “Sarkasmos” — of which the root word is “Sarx.” Taken literally, the word means “to strip off the flesh”. That seems to be a pretty damning definition, but it’s not. Sometimes pretext and hypocrisy needs to be surgically removed before genuine dialogue can happen.”

One final comment. In Luke 13:33, the text reads: “Just at that time some Pharisees approached, saying to (Jesus), ‘Go away, leave here, for Herod wants to kill you.’ Jesus said to them, ‘Go tell that fox, ‘Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I reach my goal.’ Nevertheless I must journey on today and tomorrow and the next day; for it cannot be that a prophet would perish outside of Jerusalem.’”  My friends, this is one of the driest comments Jesus makes out of most of the red letter quotes: “for it cannot be that a prophet would perish outside of Jerusalem.” CR can imagine Jesus walking away from that encounter thinking “Far be it for me to slink away and not give you your opportunity” — while keeping a wry smile on his lips….good for you Jesus….good for all of us.