So, Crankeverend (CR) wants to understand something about your church attendance. When Easter and Christmas roll around, you go to church because it is tradition. You find that your experience with Easter and Christmas are not complete without having that time in the Nave (though you have no idea what part of the church the Nave is, do you?) Christmas and Easter are so steeped in tradition, probably hearkening back to generations that have been long dead in your family and traditions that you have no idea who started them, that during these seasons you must be in church. So, CR wants to know why? It is a legitimate question for a cranky pastor to ask — if it is so important to be in church on a High Holy Day, then why not every week, when the rest of the days of your life are probably filled with holes?
Hang with Crankeverend here — when you go to the dentist, you go two times a year, right? Your dentist plan allows you to see your dentist — so you schedule a cleaning twice a year, and have the opportunity to show them you have flossed and brushed twice a day. And, most of you go, to the dentist, twice a year. You hope that this is enough for you to ward off plaque and the development of cavities (maybe). But two times a year is all the dentist requires. CR wants to know why you believe attending church two times a year is enough to ward off the devil? This cranky reverend wants to know why you believe that going to church two times a year, or even one time a month is enough to keep your spiritual fires burning so that you can endure the calamities of this world?
OK, this is where CR gets on CR’s soap box and takes off his left shoe and begins to pound the pulpit. When there is a death in your family, your grandmother dies, your co-worker is killed in a car accident or drops dead of a heart attack, or when there is a crisis in the world, like what happened on September 11, 2001, did you go to your dentist and cry out “Dr. Killjoy, give me some comfort because I am sad?” “Dr. Killjoy, will you help my family, pray for my colleague, and guide and protect my family?” “Dr. Killjoy, will I see my mother again?” NO!!!!!! You did not go to your dentist — you ran to your church, or any church, and wanted to hear words of comfort about a G-d who might care enough to provide strength to meet the troubles you were/are facing.
And yet, you treat your faith life like you treat your Gingivitis — you go twice a year and maybe rinse your mouth with some holy water once in a while. CR really is asking for some guidance here, because CR is just a little cranky with those who believe that attending church is more of a bother and just another thing to junk up their schedule, than it is a life-sustaining, life-producing, life-enriching, life-enhancing, life-saving presence.
How is it that when you get that promotion, or your children get good jobs, or you are able to buy that bigger house, you have no time to thank G-d for the blessings that have come to you? Where did the opportunity for you to reap some blessings — where did that come from? Just from your work and your hands, right? So you think….. So, CR wants to know why, when it all falls apart, when it all comes crashing down, when all H _ _ _ seems to be colliding with your life, why then do you turn to the church — or to G-d? If it isn’t G-d’s hands that provide you the blessings, then it isn’t G-d’s place to give you answers when you can’t provide any on your own accord. Right? Wrong? Do you Know?
Or, why is it that so many people come to the doors of the church, so many churches around CR, asking for help — help for gas, help for food, help for rent, help for surgery, help for baby formula, help for car repairs — and then become indignant when we ask them “Where do you attend church?” “How much has your community of faith helped you — so we can match what they have given you?” Most of the time CR looks at the paper (one sheet) that we ask folks to complete, asking for some information, and the line where we ask for the name of the community of faith to which they belong is blank. They have no time to attend a church, but yet they turn to the church time and time again for help. And if they are turned away, they accuse the church saying “You don’t care”. But we do care. We care enough that we don’t just want to give you a fish, we want to introduce you to the Fisherman (Jesus) who never throws back the fish he catches (that means YOU – Jesus is not a catch and release fisherman); who provides a meal each and every week if you come to the table; who not only does not throw back the fish he catches but wants to teach you how to catch fish as well. But too many people want only a fish taco given to them, or want to come to a fish fry twice a year, or who are so desperate will steal the fisherman’s pole, lures, and other fish while complaining that the fish he gave them is too small.
So, CR is absolutely cranky. After a week of death and disasters, CR is cranky and feeling surrounded by people in white coats and masks telling him “this will only hurt a little” — and all he can do is wince in pain, gag and choke. CR is feeling as if his calling to fish for people is fraught with sink holes and his quest to prevent “truth decay” is filled with root canals. But, you see, CR knows that the Great Fisherman, Jesus, catches us when we feel as if we are sinking, and never lets us go — even if we only recognize his Fisherman’s Sovereignty on the same level as the Great Dental Plan in the sky. But, CR knows he is not depending on his dentist for his salvation, for if he was, then he won’t be able to afford the co-pay. Thank G-d the Fisherman, Jesus, offers all of us a free meal every Sunday — and in some places, every day. That is a table CR wants to go to often — it is a meal CR needs every day. My friends, don’t turn your faith life into a dental plan — because the devil wants to rot away your trust, your hope, your love, and your faith. Come to the banquet — all is ready — all are welcome…
Crankeverend…..Out!
The "Frowning Glory" 
Leave a comment